Slave to Sin!
I once was a slave to sin, held captive by its grip, a prisoner. It started at a very young age, I became addicted to sinful desires, I wasn’t raised in a Christian home and I didn’t know too much about Jesus. I thought God was a mean God, One who would rather destroy me than help me. But boy... was I ever wrong. So I grew up confused about God. Done it all, tried it all, sorta thing!! I was so deep into sin, I was in the darkest of darkness. I let bitterness, hate, anger, lust, you name it...fill my life with its poison. I didn’t care about life, it was my way or the highway... But what I didn’t know... was that I was being deceived. I was becoming someone who even I didn’t know anymore. Sin had total control of me. I felt weak, powerless , hopeless, and worthless. I had went to a youth retreat when I was 15 and there, I met Jesus, I tried living for Him for a couple years, I was growing, but not long after I begin to fall.
My past started to become my present again. For years I struggled... A part of me wanting, trying, to live for God, I was struggling as a part of me was bound by sin again... Feeling lost and hopeless... I was miserable. I felt like why even try!! So as usual... when things got rough...I gave up!!! But I then realized... I was trying to do it all on my own strength, my own power... I was trying to defeat sin. But Oh Boy!! That just ain’t possible!! I couldn’t change myself. As hard as I tried... I had to completely give it to God. Even as I was pushing Him to the side, I would still feel Him calling out my name, drawing me towards Him.... But I didn’t fully comprehend. I was walking in blindness without understanding, or wisdom. Once again all I could see was this monster I had become, and hated so much. I didn’t know who I was, what I was, or even half the time if I was even here!! I was the worst hypocrite going... But through it all... He loved me enough... even in my darkest hours, to save me from an eternal hell.
Now I can say, I am free, and Jesus lives within me!! I’m not perfect, far from it. But I serve a perfect God, who everyday helps me to live more and more for Him... He has opened my eyes , and now I walk in His light. I see clearly, I understand, I have wisdom, peace and joy in my life. He is my strength everyday.
Written by: Krystal Kavanagh
